Journey from loneliness-Kelvin Abney


Food for thought: Some people hold you down and some people hold you down. Know the difference!



Feeling lonely? I get it. I have been lonely several times in my life and it is not a good feeling. We are social creatures by nature and need a sense of belonging and connection to some degree. 2020 has been a stressful year for many because of social restrictions due to Covid-19 and the result was an increase in loneliness. Remaining in loneliness can lead to a multitude of health issues such as unhealthy obsessive behaviors, stress and even depression. I believe you can climb out of your shell of loneliness with several recommendations listed below. I will be straight forward by saying that I do not have a cure all answer to resolve your loneliness issues. Instead, I believe that you can combat this condition and overcome.

Before looking at suggestions, let’s define loneliness. Being lonely is not necessarily being by yourself, but an internal connection that is not present. In other words, you can be with others and still feel lonely.

Here we have 6 things for you to cope with loneliness easily.

1. Take a walk or exercise to refresh your mind and body.

Walking has been proven to offer many great health benefits for the body and the mind. Yes, any form of exercise would do as well, but walking is better, as it allows one to explore their surroundings in a way a car ride simply does not provide.

When you decide to walk, even when you are getting to a usual goal, try to take a different route than you usually do. Even better, try to pick a direction at random. Just the feeling of walking down the street, surrounded by traffic and other people, is going to make you feel involved in your community. At the end, you may discover something new you hadn’t known before!

2. Join a club and meet people who share your passion too.

Everyone has some passion. Sometimes, sharing your passion with others does not only open you up to more friendship; it may even enhance your talents in surprising ways! Even the smallest town has some clubs. If you are interested in public service, why don’t you try the Rotary Club, Kiwanis, or the Lions Club? If you like playing chess, join a chess club; playing with others will definitely sharpen your logic skills. On a personal note, reestablish yourself with your college fraternity or sorority to drum up memories of fun and commitments. Or you can even explore things which are new to you. Pottery, writing, wine tasting, dancing. These are only a few examples of many. If there’re no nearby clubs that interest you, start one of your own. Odds are good that if you have an interest, someone else in the area is likely to share it!

3. Change your environment.

There are times when your environment encircle you in a way that you feel boxed in. If that is the case, then it is time to travel. Plan a trip to the mountains, the beach or a point of destination that you enjoyed in the past or have never been. Just the thought of going somewhere will bring mental relief. Of course, adhere to social restriction guidelines at all times, but you can still enjoy yourself.

4. Break your normal routine.

There are times that our routines are so busy that we forget about what is most important – YOU. I discovered that I had less time for myself because I was caught up doing everyone else’s bidding. Helping others and doing your job is important, but you have to take care of yourself too. Find the time to do things that you enjoy. For example, I love playing chess because I love the competition. Another routine I enjoy is playing music at home or in my car without distraction to decompress. Rediscover and do things that you love. Yes, life can be hectic, but what is the purpose of working your butt off if you can’t enjoy things you like to do along the way.

5. Utilize technology to connect with others.

There are several platforms that can help you connect with others like Facebook, Google Hangouts. Other apps such as WhatsApp, Marco Polo and Zoom can connect you with friends, family and those you think about reconnecting with. Conference call friends and family to celebrate birthdays, holidays and other occasions via these platforms may jump start your spirit and rejuvenate your life.

6. Positive mind and believe in yourself.

My final takeaway for 2020 is this....There is nothing more important on this planet than yourself. There are times that we develop a routine that is so redundant that we forget about what is most important – YOU. Take the time to pour oil into your own vessel and replenish your mind, body and spirit. Most importantly, think positive thoughts to help change your outcome. Hopefully, my suggestions will get you off the bench of loneliness and back into the game of life.




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A year ago, I decided it’s time to change my lifestyle. This meant taking control of my life and making important decisions..

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