Trust the Process

TRUST THE PROCESS

If I allow people, things, or events to determine my happiness, then I would be a slave to those things. Only I have the power to determine my happiness and nothing else. It all starts with me - Kelvin Abney.

Have you ever encountered a situation in life that lead you to ask the question, why did this happen to me? I will assume with absolute certainty that most if not all people have asked that question about a situation that has occurred in their lives or in the world at least one time. Despite human intelligence, we don't know the answers to everything. I have a mindset of trusting the process in life. I manage the things that I can control to the best of my ability and those things I don't control I respect..

Below are three true short stories that I would like to share with hopes that they resonate and provide hope within you. There are times you must trust the process.

                                                     THE UNKNOWN FUTURE

I know a woman who pursued her dream despite the odds. She was born and raised in the deep south, and she explained that opportunities were slim as a young woman. She said that she always felt that life could be better than her current existence, so she decided to seek work in a major city. She left two kids with her mother at the age of 16 and took a Greyhound bus with only a can of Pepsi, peanuts and her vision of a better life. 

Life was hard upon arrival in the city. She had to room with new friends she met to make ends meet and at one point she even slept in the hallway of a building because she had no place to stay. Eventually, she gained steady employment as a live-in cleaning lady scrubbing floors and doing domesticated labor for well-to-do families. Over time, she learned the skills to become a reputable nurse’s aide. She saved her money and achieved her initial vision of purchasing her first home. Within five years, she became a landowner and purchased several homes that she rented out to earn additional income.

Years have passed, and I asked what were her primary goals in life She responded by saying to own a home, raise her kids with the expectation that they complete high school, and find a good job, and to help others in need. She exceeded her goals because all nine of her kids graduated from high school, with several achieving advanced levels of education and becoming successful business owners.

Lastly, I asked was she ever scared about taking a chance to improve her life. She replied by saying "heck yeah". She said that she didn't know what the outcome would be when she got on the bus. She only had a strong desire to be better than she was and had the courage and faith to take that next step. She trusted in the process, and for that, I am thankful.

                                                               LOVE PAINS

A close friend of mine was seriously involved in a woman that he fell in love with practically the first day he saw her. They met when they were both married. She eventually got divorced, and he was planning on doing the same. He left two good-paying jobs and relocated to move closer to her and has made numerous sacrifices during the relationship to prove his love. 

Several years have passed, and he separated from his wife but did not follow through on finalizing his divorce due to financial reasons. He speculated that his girlfriend became insecure about their relationship because of it and they have had several breakups.

In May of 2019, they reconnected, and he promised to have his divorce final by September. She agreed with the terms and decided to stay with him. Two weeks later, she suddenly broke up with him. Further, she told him not to contact her unless he has a valid proof of a divorce. He pleaded with her and stated that they invested too much time in each other for this to happen and she will have all the proof she needs in September. She didn't budge.  He became distraught and speculated why she changed her mind. Was it because she realized that he was serious about finalizing his divorce and got cold feet, was it that she had someone else on the side or was she just tired of his empty promises?

In the meantime, he stroked a hefty $112K check to his soon to be ex-wife to finalize the terms of their divorce, took time off from his job and traveled to the beaches of Seychelles to clear his head. On the very last evening walking the sands, he cried, prayed, and decided to break soul ties with the woman he truly loved. He accepted that the relationship was not meant to be and recognized that God would provide a soul mate that will love and keep him.

I met with him upon his return and asked how he was doing. He said he feels liberated because he is happy with peace of mind. He returned to the U.S. stronger and more determined than ever to live life to the fullest. He is thriving at work, his businesses are doing exceptionally well, and his personal life is full of opportunities and promise. Additionally, his divorce is final, and now he can focus on living without the burden of cheating and not living right.

I commended him because he removed himself from a terrible marriage and regrouped from a painful relationship. He said that his faith, recognizing his value and trusting in the process has aligned him to a better today and a bright future. His parting words to me were as follows...." It is difficult to forget about old experiences. I have learned from them. Now, I am excited about my future and creating lasting happy memories. My time is too valuable to waste so I must take advantage of every second that remains" To that, I say, more power to you my brother and do not allow others to judge you based on their boundaries and beliefs. Go get it!

                                              THE MYSTERIOUS HEARTBREAK

A "PG" friend of mine happily dated a man for six months and then he mysteriously disappeared out of her life. He stopped calling her, and she suspected something happened to him. After numerous attempts to contact him, she eventually realized that she got played. She loved this guy and was in so much pain that she considered suicide. With the support of family and real friends, she is building herself up. She is involved in new projects, a thriving business, and a unique opportunity at love. I told her to stop trying to figure out what happened and trust in the process. Further, I said there are bigger plans for her, and he was not supposed to be part of your new life project. Some things that happen to us cannot be explained so redirect your energy on learning to love yourself.

In conclusion, I believe that we are not meant to understand everything in life or to have everything we want. Appreciate the things that you have, those things that are coming, and things that have left. If it was meant to be, then, you shall have it. 

WELLBEING CAN ONLY HAPPEN FROM WITHIN. DESPITE WHAT HAPPENS TO ME. I WILL BE HAPPY. I LOVE WHAT I AM DOING AND WERE I AM GOING.

                                  DARE TO JOURNEY WITH ME. - Kelvin Abney